The Song that Never Ends

Are you tired of the government making personal decisions for you? When I was watching the news and trying to figure out what it meant to have the government bailout those large incompetent greedy companies, I thought about how I would spend the 700 billion dollars. I know how I would spend 80 million dollars because I have felt the need to make plans in case I win the lottery. I figure I’ll have about 40 million after taxes because I’m not able to spend taxpayer money in any Willy Nilly way. (What did Willy and Nilly do to deserve such a negative legacy?) Anyway, I plan to pay my taxes so that leave me with about 40 million. The first thing I would do is buy a place for all my friends mothers to live. It would like an assisted living facility only there would be wonderful food and entertainment. The staff would treat the mom’s and dad’s (if they lived as long as the mom’s) with respect and courtesy. There would be no talking to them like they were children and they would be able to put salt on their food. There would be a bus to take them to the theater, movies and out to eat—even if they had to go in a hospital gurney. And there would be full time competent nursing care for those who could no longer be independent. We could probably get a genius grant from the some company because this would be an innovative experiment – if we needed additional funding. Oh, and yes eventually the children would occupy the house – that is just the reality. But aging might as well be luxurious and entertaining instead of bleak and humiliating


That is the public service piece of how I would spend the money. Moving on to the fun part. I would buy a house in Italy—I am especially fond of Umbria and Verona but it’s a country where you can’t get a bad meal (except in a few tourist places near the Mediterranean). It has to be a villa big enough to house at least ten couples, (with everyone having their own bath – and although I would never invite ten at a time you never know what kind of entertaining you might want to do that would require overnight accommodations. The kitchen would have a pizza oven as well as the kind of equipment that, God forbid you couldn’t go out for dinner, you could still have a great meal. Of course there would be a pool as well as a mineral bath fed by natural warm springs, tennis courts, a pitch and putt course, movie theater, bowling alley (for friends from New Jersey) and a massage therapist on duty 24/7. There would have to be a private plane for travel to and from anywhere in the world but I think leasing per trip makes much more sense. I don’t need to have a car with a driver on staff but it would be nice to have someone available for trips to the city – any city. I would spend like the CEO of some big corporation .

It would be awfully nice to have someone to do my laundry, clean my house, fudge my taxes and take my car to be inspected. but those are things I don’t have to have won the lottery to do. I need to learn to think bigger. OK I’ve got it. Since there will be no money left in the US treasury to fix education, implement an adequate health care plan, help single mothers—who decided to have their kid -- (Palin line item vetoed that in Alaska so I don’t think we can count on much assistance from that side of the aisle), work on programs which create opportunity for women or continue to fight many more wars (that’s a good thing), I could use my lotto winnings to create a national lotto where the winner would be a social program rather than a person. It would be like what they do on American Idol only different. Here people could buy a ticket for $1 and if they won, they would donate that money to the government program of their choice. Yes, I agree that if some people would be reluctant to just turn that money over to the government ... maybe it’s not such a great idea. How about if we look at the last ten years and pass a law that any CEO who has been compensated well above what they deserved (I’m happy to make that decision or we can all agree on a number, say 6 million—that’s pretty generous), has to give that money back to the taxpayers, or even the shareholders of the company they raided, or they can pick a social program but it can’t be their country club. Even if they started a foundation to help children—I don’t care if they help with a disease (after the bailout there won’t be any money left for research grants), or education or health issues, just as long as they invest in helping this country become a better place instead of buying extravagant houses, private planes, and absurdly opulent parties. They are not allowed to have benefited from the fact that they appointed their Board of Directors and the Board of Directors determined what that their severance would be millions of dollars in overgenerous compensation.

Which brings us back to how I would spend the piddly little $80 thousand I didn’t win. Actually, when I was working in my first political campaign my salary was $50 a week, which they never paid me so I asked them to raise it to $100 – which they also didn’t pay me. There it is again, I wasn’t thinking big enough. I’m going to change that right now and as long as I didn’t win 80 mil, I might as well not have won 700 billion dollars – which I could also spend in much more reasonable and thoughtful ways than the people who have been in charge and are responsible for this devastation. The first thing I would do is buy a place for all our aging mothers and fathers... It’s like the “Song That Never Ends”.

Let Us Eat Cake

Yesterday I was with a friend who works for a Democratic Senator. We were talking about the multitudes of crisis which face our country. And I was surprised when she confessed that until McCain (or whoever—probably not McCain) selected Sarah Palin as his running mate, she was not going to vote. So I guess you think that Sarah Palin being a woman made all the difference in the world and now she has had some kind of “kitbitka” (you remember that’s a word that means an old small Russian wagon but we thought it sounded like “a miraculous recovery” so we changed the definition -- and she’s going to vote for the Republican ticket. Quite the contrary. She will vote for Obama because she will not vote for someone who believes in creationism, eliminating Roe vs Wade, goes to a church where they speak in tongues, and shoots helpless animals for sport from a helicopter. She confessed, “I’m sorry to say that I don’t really like either candidate as a possible President. I simply don’t think either is prepared to be the leader we need today. But how, in this day and age can you vote for two people so out of touch with what’s going on in this country –culturally and technologically”.

Oye Vey! In Elizabeth Drew’s essay, “How John McCain lost me” she lists many reasons why she is no longer supporting her old friend. All the reasons are insightful, but I found this among the most interesting:
McCain's recent conduct of his campaign – his willingness to lie repeatedly (including in his acceptance speech) and to play Russian roulette with the vice-presidency, in order to fulfill his long-held ambition has reinforced my earlier, and growing, sense that John McCain is not a principled man. In fact, it's not clear who he is.

When I read this kind of stuff I find it incredibly upsetting, so let’s talk about the Emmy’s and who was the best and worst dressed. Now there’s something I can sink my teeth into. I do remember what some of them were wearing, now if only I could remember some of the names of the celebs. I'll try. I know there was a short dark haired woman who kept hiking up her dress and I know that this same woman had to take a golf cart from the parking lot to the event because someone screwed up her limo. Can you imagine. It's your worst nightmare. And I know that sparkles, or maybe it’s sequins , no it’s metallic fabric is back in. But in my closet it never went out. Oh, and both the Daily and Colbert shows won because they are funny and in fact, they are the places where most people under thirty get their political news—papers, magazines, and TV news are just not cool and too much work. Alex Baldwin is also Emmy award winning funny, but not in the same way. He's kind of mean funny -- but likeable. Mean appears to be the new nice. “Mad Men” was best drama, “30 Rock” was best comedy (but only on TV, in reality it’s just another GE media business. And someone named Bryan won for something called “Breaking Bad”, which I’ve never seen. But then I’ve never seen “Lost” or “Gray’s Anatomy” or “Survivor”. I’m kind of a “Cold Case”, “Bones” and “House” girl. I wonder what that means?

That was a refreshing break from the hum drum of politics. So where were we. There is a PBS poll on the internet that asks if Sarah Palin is qualified. It will come as no surprise that the numbers suggest she is – or the Republican technology is better than the Democratic technology. But I love a good survey almost as much as a good piece of cake or a vanilla malt, so I think I’ll spend most of my time exploring food instead of polls. John McCain has changed his mind several times about the bail out. Barack Obama has not really talked about it. Sarah Palin is cute, still has nice glasses and doesn’t ever leave the script. (Hey, Jordan is good at reading a script, so I guess she could be President). And Joe Biden is in some blue collar place probably yelling at someone with a blue collar. That pretty much brings us all up to date. Let’s talk about something far more interesting, like the wedding I went to this weekend. My niece Nora got married to a wonderful man named Bryan who is a successful entrepreneur. Thank God neither of them is employed by any stock related enterprise. She looked beautiful and they worship one another. The wedding was in a lovely space, all redesigned to meet their needs and the food was both elegant and creative – my favorite was the NJ diner table at cocktails preceding the dinner. The bride wore white, the groom wore a tux and the bridesmaids were in black with every dress being different --one even sparkled. It was a refreshing break from talk of the financial crisis, the gas crisis, the housing crisis, the war, and the election. As I watched these two wonderful people share their vows, I couldn’t help but wonder what kind of a world they will grow old in and what the lives of their children would be. Then I thought—stop that foolish troublesome thinking and go get a piece of cake.

Which La La Land

Remember when Jackie Gleason used to say “What a revoltin’ development this is”. Well now I know what he means. But I’ll get back to that.

I was watching some talking head TV this morning and when the talking heads opened their mouths, they all started in the same way which was, “I think... blah blah blah blah blah. As I was watching their lips move the Gary Larsen cartoon flashed before my eyes. The one where you see what people say and what dogs hear. It turns out that the public hears what dogs hear when politicians start to blather.

Have you ever yelled at the TV? David and I do it all the time. He is actually worse than I am because he calls the news desk when he feels they are incompetent or just stupid. All I could think (and I do think), who cares what you think! Take Lieberman –please. He was going on and on about the fact that he thinks we can’t withdraw from Iraq because there will be chaos and bloodshed. What does he think there is now? The US has become merely a third party in a civil war that has been festering forever and our presence continues to make worse. To be perfectly honest (and what do I to gain by lying? You’re not going to elect me for anything), I don’t care what any elected official thinks. They all have their own agendas,which usually include advocating for some special interest, rich contributor, or local very visible positive effort which they can use as footage in the next campaign. But it does not necessarily include being concerned about the lives of your family or mine –unless we are of some political importance. How many of those people are around? Quite simply we need to get out of Iraq and stop trying to think about why we can’t. If Iraqi’s choose to kill each other we won’t be able to stop them. What our politicians do or thing doesn’t make any difference. We can’t stop the killing on our own streets so how can we possibly stop it a million miles away—at least culturally.

Anyway, back to a former ‘revoltin development. My mom was in the hospital for six days. She could not walk because her feet were too swollen and arthritic. They couldn't give her the physical therapy she needed. In addition, she was in and out of La La Land. When Aunt Peppy (her twin) arrived at the hospital that day they discussed the fact that my Aunts, Helene Sophie and Fritzie, couldn’t possibly have come to visit mom because they had died. She seemed OK with that, for about a minute and a half. Then she wanted to know if they hadn’t called because they were in Florida.
“No” Aunt Peppy insisted, “They died”.
But did Sophie go to Florida with Rosalie?”
“No she died three years ago.”
“Don’t be ridiculous”, my mother replied. “They were here last night and if David had been here he could have taken their picture. They were wearing cardboard hats and Aunt Helene looked ridiculous.”

Aunt Peppy gave up. So mom turned to me. “Did you arrange for them to come? It must have been expensive to come all that way.” You used to make arrangements for the President. Did you do this?
“No Mom. I couldn’t do that.”
“Well who did it then?
I thought about it for a minute and decided to tell the truth. “God did it mom.”
“You think so?” She asked
“Absolutely.”

About ten minutes later she was perfectly lucid and we talked about people who had expressed concern and the fact that the doctor thought she should be in short term rehab until she can get around a bit.

When David and I left the hospital we took a walk along the Boulevard in Mountain Lakes. It is gorgeous day, a little crisp but clear and sunny. When something like this happens and you seem to be facing your own mortality you realize that decisions need to be made while you can make them and even then who knows what will happen. Here’s what I think. Our generation must find a better way to deal with being old, sick and dying. The politicians who are always thinking into everyone else’s business and bedrooms, (domestic and international) would be better off thinking about dignity and elder care. If they have to think—let them do it about something that will really make a difference.

Hey Folks, this IS the Computer Age..

That's why it's only taken us a whole week (7 days, 168 hours...) to get Iris' interview on Morning Joe (MSNBC) last friday. Here's the deal.. pretend she was on this morning.. and it WILL be the computer age!!!

ok. .lets see if this damn thing works:

BLUE COLLAR-WHITE COLLAR-NO COLLAR
Until recently I actually believed that most of the 300 million people in this country either watched or listened to the top rated cable news/political or radio shows.
But I then discovered that the very top rated shows only had at the best of times, one million tuners in. So what about the other 299 million? But this isn't about ratings, the key word here is "shows." Yes, shows. They are independent and usually only broadcast scripts they are handed to them by the producers and possibly even the advertisers. After all if I was paying millions of dollars to have my product advertised I'd want a say in what was being broadcast. I'll bet you never had that thought did you? I remember the time when President Johnson knew we had lost the war in Vietnam. How did he know? Walter Cronkite told him so. I know back then it was called the evening news but that's only because no one considered calling it "Just ask Walter." And where does all this rambling lead to? Pennsylvania, the so called "turning point primary" or the "win or lose state" or the "gotta win state" and to pull off that win the candidates must cater to the uneducated, non-skilled, shot and beer population. At least that's what the other forty-nine other states have been told. In fact Pennsylvania was and still is "The Keystone State" the cornerstone of our country. I grew up in that state where Coal was King, the modern wonders of the world were built with steel that came from us, we have the finest colleges, universities, medical and law schools than any other state. And to make it simple, all those people didn't leave to go to New York, they stayed, grew their families and continued their careers. It's probably the most diversified population in our country and it will continue regardless of the political incorrectness of being referred to as Blue Collar, White Collar and No Collar state.
So beware my friends, Pennsylvania isn't to be trifled with when it comes to electing our next President. They know what's best for their country, because they tuned into the new show, "Just ask Clay!"

Shame on you!

My vote counts. My vote doesn't count. My vote counts. My vote doesn't count.
Sound familiar, well that was the game I used to play with pulling off petals of flowers to find out an answer to some silly question. I'm a Florida voter, yes one of them.
I have voted in every election since I moved here thirty years ago when I retired from the United States Army. I always vote, not necessarily because I want any certain candidate to win it's a lot simpler than that. I vote because I get a warm fuzzy feeling everytime I step into the voting booth. There's just a certain feeling that comes over me when I look at all those names to chose from and I know that I am a part of his or her life. What an awesome power it is to vote. It even gets better when I walk out of that booth and get that little "I Voted" sticker on my shirt. I wear it like a badge of courage because I want everyone to know I fought for the right to vote. I don't take voting lightly but this year I feel lost. Additionally, being a Vietnam Veteran I liked to think that I was voting for all my comrades that didn't make it back to have a say who should be Commander-In-Chief. But this year, my vote doesn't count, actually to make it clearer I was denied the right to vote. I can live with not having my candidate of choice not win but it's so damn difficult to live with the fact that I wasn't allowed to be heard. So does that turn me off from voting in November? No, I'll vote but in the meantime I'm going to hand write everyone who took my voting privelege away during the primaries and tell them this. Shame on you!

The Test Cometh

FACTOID:

It's a little known piece of history that the second wave of immigrants did not land at Plymouth Rock, they landed at the southernmost point in America on a small island called Key West.

This second group decided to stay and remain hidden from the rest of the world. As they grew in numbers and formed what is now known as the Republican Party. They began to build and build this small island which eventually led to needing a large work force to maintain it's properties. That's when they brought in indentured workers who later became known as the Democratic Party. They renamed the island Cayo Hueso (Isle of Bones) and built a huge temple to show the world how powerful they were, This temple became known as The Southernmost Resorts Collection and still offering it's services to visitors from around the world. www.southernmostresorts.com

Flash ahead a few hundred years. A long line of potential Presidential candidates stood outside the registration lobby at the Southernmost Resorts in Key West waiting to register for the first ever test “So You Think You Can Be President” to determine their eligibility to become the nominee for the office of President of the United States. To ensure complete anonymity all applicants wore hoods, gloves and not allowed to speak, they were restricted to only sending text messages if they had any questions.

Due to the conflict within the Democratic Party and it's inability to choose a candidate for the general election in 2008 the party voted to move it's election to 2009. The Republican Party saw this as a victory insuring a long term advantage to occupy the White House. The Supreme Court also ruled that the current election process would continue as it always had. They sited a "prima facie law" that stated "it is what it is." But then in an addendum, the Supreme Court of the United States ruled that any political party could choose when, where, and how any party could hold it's own elections. They didn’t have to agree to the same day. Obviously, with this in mind the Republican candidate whose election would take place in 2008, would get elected before the Democratic candidate had a tremendous advantage.



Hence, a need for someway to chose a candidate beyond th election. And so a test was created. The framers of this test Iris Burnett HF and Clay Greager HF chose the www.SouthernmostResorts.com to administer the questions. It is Geographically the southernmost point in the United States. They wanted to avert any diplomatic problems if they chose a location on the East (Right) Coast or the West (Left) Coast?

The results of the test will be scored by Price Waterhouse and the results announced during the half time activities of the 2009 Super Bowl. This event solution was deemed a victory by some economic minorities because it would allow them to raise money via car washes, yard sales and local lotteries (commonly called the numbers racket.)

All potential applicants, financial and personal data will be released and posted on the www.SouthernmostResorts.com website as soon as the scoring and evaluation is completed sometime in 2008. Carrie Lynn eventually married a Republican and Lisa Ann had a short but fun filled affair with a Democrat but despite their difference political affiliations, they have remained close.
Clay