Which La La Land

Remember when Jackie Gleason used to say “What a revoltin’ development this is”. Well now I know what he means. But I’ll get back to that.

I was watching some talking head TV this morning and when the talking heads opened their mouths, they all started in the same way which was, “I think... blah blah blah blah blah. As I was watching their lips move the Gary Larsen cartoon flashed before my eyes. The one where you see what people say and what dogs hear. It turns out that the public hears what dogs hear when politicians start to blather.

Have you ever yelled at the TV? David and I do it all the time. He is actually worse than I am because he calls the news desk when he feels they are incompetent or just stupid. All I could think (and I do think), who cares what you think! Take Lieberman –please. He was going on and on about the fact that he thinks we can’t withdraw from Iraq because there will be chaos and bloodshed. What does he think there is now? The US has become merely a third party in a civil war that has been festering forever and our presence continues to make worse. To be perfectly honest (and what do I to gain by lying? You’re not going to elect me for anything), I don’t care what any elected official thinks. They all have their own agendas,which usually include advocating for some special interest, rich contributor, or local very visible positive effort which they can use as footage in the next campaign. But it does not necessarily include being concerned about the lives of your family or mine –unless we are of some political importance. How many of those people are around? Quite simply we need to get out of Iraq and stop trying to think about why we can’t. If Iraqi’s choose to kill each other we won’t be able to stop them. What our politicians do or thing doesn’t make any difference. We can’t stop the killing on our own streets so how can we possibly stop it a million miles away—at least culturally.

Anyway, back to a former ‘revoltin development. My mom was in the hospital for six days. She could not walk because her feet were too swollen and arthritic. They couldn't give her the physical therapy she needed. In addition, she was in and out of La La Land. When Aunt Peppy (her twin) arrived at the hospital that day they discussed the fact that my Aunts, Helene Sophie and Fritzie, couldn’t possibly have come to visit mom because they had died. She seemed OK with that, for about a minute and a half. Then she wanted to know if they hadn’t called because they were in Florida.
“No” Aunt Peppy insisted, “They died”.
But did Sophie go to Florida with Rosalie?”
“No she died three years ago.”
“Don’t be ridiculous”, my mother replied. “They were here last night and if David had been here he could have taken their picture. They were wearing cardboard hats and Aunt Helene looked ridiculous.”

Aunt Peppy gave up. So mom turned to me. “Did you arrange for them to come? It must have been expensive to come all that way.” You used to make arrangements for the President. Did you do this?
“No Mom. I couldn’t do that.”
“Well who did it then?
I thought about it for a minute and decided to tell the truth. “God did it mom.”
“You think so?” She asked
“Absolutely.”

About ten minutes later she was perfectly lucid and we talked about people who had expressed concern and the fact that the doctor thought she should be in short term rehab until she can get around a bit.

When David and I left the hospital we took a walk along the Boulevard in Mountain Lakes. It is gorgeous day, a little crisp but clear and sunny. When something like this happens and you seem to be facing your own mortality you realize that decisions need to be made while you can make them and even then who knows what will happen. Here’s what I think. Our generation must find a better way to deal with being old, sick and dying. The politicians who are always thinking into everyone else’s business and bedrooms, (domestic and international) would be better off thinking about dignity and elder care. If they have to think—let them do it about something that will really make a difference.

Hey Folks, this IS the Computer Age..

That's why it's only taken us a whole week (7 days, 168 hours...) to get Iris' interview on Morning Joe (MSNBC) last friday. Here's the deal.. pretend she was on this morning.. and it WILL be the computer age!!!

ok. .lets see if this damn thing works:

BLUE COLLAR-WHITE COLLAR-NO COLLAR
Until recently I actually believed that most of the 300 million people in this country either watched or listened to the top rated cable news/political or radio shows.
But I then discovered that the very top rated shows only had at the best of times, one million tuners in. So what about the other 299 million? But this isn't about ratings, the key word here is "shows." Yes, shows. They are independent and usually only broadcast scripts they are handed to them by the producers and possibly even the advertisers. After all if I was paying millions of dollars to have my product advertised I'd want a say in what was being broadcast. I'll bet you never had that thought did you? I remember the time when President Johnson knew we had lost the war in Vietnam. How did he know? Walter Cronkite told him so. I know back then it was called the evening news but that's only because no one considered calling it "Just ask Walter." And where does all this rambling lead to? Pennsylvania, the so called "turning point primary" or the "win or lose state" or the "gotta win state" and to pull off that win the candidates must cater to the uneducated, non-skilled, shot and beer population. At least that's what the other forty-nine other states have been told. In fact Pennsylvania was and still is "The Keystone State" the cornerstone of our country. I grew up in that state where Coal was King, the modern wonders of the world were built with steel that came from us, we have the finest colleges, universities, medical and law schools than any other state. And to make it simple, all those people didn't leave to go to New York, they stayed, grew their families and continued their careers. It's probably the most diversified population in our country and it will continue regardless of the political incorrectness of being referred to as Blue Collar, White Collar and No Collar state.
So beware my friends, Pennsylvania isn't to be trifled with when it comes to electing our next President. They know what's best for their country, because they tuned into the new show, "Just ask Clay!"

Shame on you!

My vote counts. My vote doesn't count. My vote counts. My vote doesn't count.
Sound familiar, well that was the game I used to play with pulling off petals of flowers to find out an answer to some silly question. I'm a Florida voter, yes one of them.
I have voted in every election since I moved here thirty years ago when I retired from the United States Army. I always vote, not necessarily because I want any certain candidate to win it's a lot simpler than that. I vote because I get a warm fuzzy feeling everytime I step into the voting booth. There's just a certain feeling that comes over me when I look at all those names to chose from and I know that I am a part of his or her life. What an awesome power it is to vote. It even gets better when I walk out of that booth and get that little "I Voted" sticker on my shirt. I wear it like a badge of courage because I want everyone to know I fought for the right to vote. I don't take voting lightly but this year I feel lost. Additionally, being a Vietnam Veteran I liked to think that I was voting for all my comrades that didn't make it back to have a say who should be Commander-In-Chief. But this year, my vote doesn't count, actually to make it clearer I was denied the right to vote. I can live with not having my candidate of choice not win but it's so damn difficult to live with the fact that I wasn't allowed to be heard. So does that turn me off from voting in November? No, I'll vote but in the meantime I'm going to hand write everyone who took my voting privelege away during the primaries and tell them this. Shame on you!

The Test Cometh

FACTOID:

It's a little known piece of history that the second wave of immigrants did not land at Plymouth Rock, they landed at the southernmost point in America on a small island called Key West.

This second group decided to stay and remain hidden from the rest of the world. As they grew in numbers and formed what is now known as the Republican Party. They began to build and build this small island which eventually led to needing a large work force to maintain it's properties. That's when they brought in indentured workers who later became known as the Democratic Party. They renamed the island Cayo Hueso (Isle of Bones) and built a huge temple to show the world how powerful they were, This temple became known as The Southernmost Resorts Collection and still offering it's services to visitors from around the world. www.southernmostresorts.com

Flash ahead a few hundred years. A long line of potential Presidential candidates stood outside the registration lobby at the Southernmost Resorts in Key West waiting to register for the first ever test “So You Think You Can Be President” to determine their eligibility to become the nominee for the office of President of the United States. To ensure complete anonymity all applicants wore hoods, gloves and not allowed to speak, they were restricted to only sending text messages if they had any questions.

Due to the conflict within the Democratic Party and it's inability to choose a candidate for the general election in 2008 the party voted to move it's election to 2009. The Republican Party saw this as a victory insuring a long term advantage to occupy the White House. The Supreme Court also ruled that the current election process would continue as it always had. They sited a "prima facie law" that stated "it is what it is." But then in an addendum, the Supreme Court of the United States ruled that any political party could choose when, where, and how any party could hold it's own elections. They didn’t have to agree to the same day. Obviously, with this in mind the Republican candidate whose election would take place in 2008, would get elected before the Democratic candidate had a tremendous advantage.



Hence, a need for someway to chose a candidate beyond th election. And so a test was created. The framers of this test Iris Burnett HF and Clay Greager HF chose the www.SouthernmostResorts.com to administer the questions. It is Geographically the southernmost point in the United States. They wanted to avert any diplomatic problems if they chose a location on the East (Right) Coast or the West (Left) Coast?

The results of the test will be scored by Price Waterhouse and the results announced during the half time activities of the 2009 Super Bowl. This event solution was deemed a victory by some economic minorities because it would allow them to raise money via car washes, yard sales and local lotteries (commonly called the numbers racket.)

All potential applicants, financial and personal data will be released and posted on the www.SouthernmostResorts.com website as soon as the scoring and evaluation is completed sometime in 2008. Carrie Lynn eventually married a Republican and Lisa Ann had a short but fun filled affair with a Democrat but despite their difference political affiliations, they have remained close.
Clay

Wake Up John

"Wake up John, I know it's 3:00 AM, but this is important. Can you ring downstairs and get me some ice cream?"

"Oh my God John, I said I need a new button, you pushed the red button!"

"John, it's the extremist not Al Quida."

"John, we're in Baghdad, not Hanoi."

"John, we don't have to stand in line, this is our own plane."

"John, it's not Deputy Commander, it's Vice-President"

"John, We better call a Doctor, I don’t think those were your pills."

"John, it sounds goofy to you, not gooky."

We all know that we slip up sometimes, especially when we're under stress, but can we afford to have take a chance our President will do it repeatedly. The President lives under great stress twenty-four hours a day. But let’s take a minute to look at the Republican candidate. OK, he's a little older than we would like, a little more broken and scarred than normal and possibly has suffered from ED the past couple of decades. Is that enough to keep him from being Commander-In-Chief. I don't think so, but I do think it should come it is something to consider before he becomes President.

We don't want him to get confused about which role he's playing. Can you imagine if he declared Martial Law in the United States thinking the terrorists were after him. Not far fetched you know, Perot thought the same thing a while back. So lets put this in perspective based on facts not emotions. We'll use this snapshot as something to think about when it comes to trusting him to become the leader of the Free World or just maybe only the United States.

We should ask ourselves these questions.
a. What is a bit two old for the job?
b. He was held as a prisoner of war for over five and a half years and underwent complete isolation, beaten on a daily basis, had more bones broken that existed in his frail body, fed only enough to keep him alive and was subjected to daily brain washing sessions make a difference? I guess there are people who don't think it matters, but there is still a large population that remember the movie "The Manchurian Candidate" and at least question, if not have serious doubts about his mental state.

"John we can't hold all calls until 9:00 am."

"John, gruel and maggots is not the right choice for a state dinner."

"John, wearing a karate outfit to travel might be comfortable but it's going to give the wrong impression."

"John, what in the hell were you thinking, she wasn't your wife, your wife is out of town."

"John will you stop watching the introduction to the move "Patton."

You are driving your secret service guys crazy making them wear World War II uniforms and standing at attention all night."

"No John, your not going to Hospice, your going to the hospital for a check-up."

"John, your wife called and said those adult toys you sent were addressed to her maid."

If this seems like an impossible scenario I suggest you drink a six-pack and let your mind wander a bit, and you might begin to believe, Nothing is Impossible.
Clay

Don't Make Me Stop This Car

Question: You are riding in the Presidential Limo and Arguing with your staff about a policy question. How do you resolve the problem?
a. You fire anyone who disagrees with you.
b. You have the secret service maim anyone who disagrees with you.
c. You never argue with people beneath your pay grade -- or who doesn't sleep in the residence.
d. Stop the car and refuse to take anyone back to the White House unless they admit you are always right.


When my kids were little and they would be in the car fighting with one another and it was impossible to concentrate because the noise was so intrusive, I like millions of other parents would threaten, “stop fighting or I’ll have to stop this car.” Over the last few days, when I listen to the news, it takes me back and all I want to do is yell. “Don’t make me stop this car!”

What are these Presidential candidates thinking? Don’t they get that everything they say now, will be repeated in the general election. Don’t they get that this is just, as my Alaskan friends have been known to say, “the tip of the iceberg”. If they think the attacks have been difficult to this point, they have no idea how savaged they are going to be by the Republicans. But for me, (and I like all of the talking heads and the bloggers do make it all about me), the most unattractive off-putting tactic is the whining. What ever would have possessed the Obama people to whine about Saturday Nite Live. “ Boo Hoo, they like Hillary better than me”. Well, who wouldn’t when that’s the approach you take to a good natured comedy sketch. Here’s some sage advice to my friends in Chicago. “Get over it!” The SNL people are going to do what they do and as long as they spell your name correctly, kids will be attracted to the election—and isn’t that what we’re all about. Oh God, I hate political whining. It’s so unPresidential.

But back to me. On my way back to DC today, I sat with a 25 or so, year old guy who was on his phone for three out of the three and a half hours. Most of his conversation was with some friends who apparently were interested in what this guy did before and after the trip. The conversations went like this: “yeah, so last night I was making out with Tiffany. She was so hot for me it was hard to leave, but I had other things to do.” Then the next conversation was: “ Claudia was so hot for me that she said she wouldn’t take a shower until I got there so I could wash her back.” The next discourse was much more graphic and not quite so interesting. And I asked him to cease and desist. “please” I begged, “I’m an older woman and my heart can’t stand it.” I thought that would be more effective than, “If you don’t stop I’m going to throw up on you.”

The technology today has made it such that conversations with/among strangers is inevitable. And some of those are about politics. (OK I know it’s a leap from the last paragraph – aren’t you perceptive). So when this guy started to talk about the campaigns (again to a friend who might have had more than a third grade education) I was glued to my adjacent seat. First he talked about how great the Spitzer ‘bimbo’ looked. Her boobs were mamazing (cute huh). Then his 2 minute attention span turned to Obama. “Yeah I thought I’d vote for the guy. But look at what his minister said. Maybe he is a muslim plant.”

You may say, consider the source. But even very smart people are asking questions about how a guy like Obama – someone who wants to be the President , can be associated with anyone who uses the kind of divisive and racist, anti American rhetoric that this minister used and uses. While I am sure the explanation is not difficult—there has to be a public explanation. I mean. I get it. My Uncle Phil and I used to fight about communism, the war in Viet Nam and the Chinese Communist Revolution. He was a fighter pilot in WW2 and as a youth, he like every Jew in NY, was a member of the communist party. He was embarrassed about the association and he was angry about the war in Viet Nam. He was right about the Chinese Communists, but, as a young person, I was inflexible in my thinking and one day, in an angry confrontation, I said he was stupid. He was visibly shaken to the point of tears. He never finished the argument because he was so hurt by my characterization of his intellect. And I was so ashamed about what I had done that I left his house without goodbyes. Eventually, we made up. But it took a long time and many earnest talks in-between. I think this is how Obama must feel about his spiritual mentor. He loves the guy. He can’t turn him away emotionally, but he’s a different generation and he has to turn him away intellectually because it is a different place than it was in the 60’s.

I have been thinking about this all day because I didn’t see a way out for the candidate. But now I do. The good senator from Illinois has to say, without any qualification or apologies that he loves this country. He chose, (as a young boy) to stay here when his mom left to go to Indonesia, and he loves it more than anyone can imagine. I believe this is the truth. I believe that there is no downside to loving the country you want to lead. I believe that while Republicans can find unimaginable ways to attack the Obama candidacy, they cannot possibly wage war on a candidate who says they love the United States and want it to be the best it can be. It’s not an enormous leap from what he’s been saying all along. This will work. Whining won’t.
Iris